Sometimes, life comes to a staggering halt for everyone, one day blends into the next and the vibrancy that comes with seeing a new day dies out. Life starts to feel monotonous and it seems to pass you by: the world is on fast forward and you have been on pause for the longest time. Routines are just that, routines, and you have fallen into a rut, you are on a treadmill going nowhere…fast.
Life becomes so hard to love, you are existing, you are surviving but you are not living, are you?
It is when we are in this pit that we stay longing for a touch of enchantment, awe or excitement that can breathe new life, hope or purpose into our weary souls; begging to be freed from the confines of familiarity, symphony of repetition and the predictability in our every day routine that casts a muted shadow on our once burning passions.
I wake up everyday and promise myself the world. That’s how I get through my days🤍
Here are not so cheesy ways in which you could fall in love with life and living…again.
Practice gratitude.
Being appreciative of the things you have now, right in front of you, allows you admiration for the present, those around you and the efforts you put in each day. It shifts your focus from what is lacking to what is abundant. Gratitude doesn’t have to centre around major shifts/changes, you can show gratitude for even the simplest of things.
Sometimes I hate this era of my life and sometimes good things happen and I am content. Always, I am grateful.
We live a huge portion of our lives caring for other people, their opinions and their feelings. We look after those around us, show them indispensable amounts of kindness and compassion, bare with them through their low points and forgive their errors, shortcomings and mistakes. Yet time and time again, we fail to afford ourselves the same grace to be human, the same patience in our growth , the same understanding in our mistakes. We all make mistakes, face setbacks, and experience moments of weakness (it is the human condition!). Rather than viewing these as failures or reasons for self-condemnation, we can continuously choose to see them as opportunities for learning and growth. I am not perfect, you are not perfect and no one expects you to be perfect. Forgive yourself, be kind to yourself, show some understanding for the person in the mirror who is doing their absolute best to give you everything you deserve!
No but this is by far my softest era. Thank you to the one that showed me my worth and made me realise that I need to appreciate and love myself more.✨
Make meaningful connections with people who adore you, embrace possibility and allow yourself to have outrageous dreams, savour life (spoil yourself, find beauty in the sound of rain or the way the wind feels on your skin), be your own cheerleader, be alone.sometimes, give your appearance the time of day and above all, wherever you are, only be there!
I laid down my tools a while back when I realised not everything needs fixing and not everybody needs saving.
Bless this mess because I am 67 shades over “fixing” myself and God forbid I ever go on any self discovery trip again.
— ️Ms. Myra Trudea Okumu (@myraokumu) May 19, 2022
And remember, any mistakes you commit through audacity are easily corrected with more audacity. God knows what you want and what you are pushing for. Surely, you will live to see those marvelous days!
I believe in myself so much. That is the one thing I carry with me throughout my days and endeavours.
For as long as I can remember I have loved words, reading and writing them. I was first introduced to books when I was 7 by my dad, who was a reading addict (if that is a thing ). I was rammaging through my grandmothers things and found a book about habitats, the cover blew my tiny brain away and it was the first thing I showed my dad when I went to see him that weekend. He read the whole book with me and then helped me define the words I couldn’t even pronounce (eg. wilderness).
My dad has always been a reader, and I think that rubbed off on me as the years passed. The first Stephen King book I ever saw and read was from his collection, an absolute delight.
Proud dad and daughter moment❤️📌
Once my dad saw my fascination with books, he made it a habit to drop me at the Good Shepherd library every Saturday at 8, bring me a hotdog at 12 and pick me up at 3. My job was to tell him the books I had read and all the new words I had learned that day. Memories! My vocabulary is not so bad because of the times I spent pouring over words and being shocked by big words. What do you mean impromptu or conglomerate? I laugh now but I used to throw words around never knowing what they meant but knowing how to use them in a sentence.
Writing followed, inspired by the teen romances I started reading and the eloquently written books I loved to spend my days drowning in. Crying at endings, heartbroken for days when terrible things happen in worlds that only ever existed inside the writer’s head. (I was inconsolable at the ending of Mirror image by Danielle Steele — then I read 4 more times just to be sure).
A decade and years later, writing has become the backbone of my existence. It has saved me from myself, the world and most things that threatened my sanity. Sad? Happy? Grieving? Anxious? I write and my crooked world is suddenly upright and all is well with the universe. What are the habits that allowed me to transition from teen romance writer straight out of wattpad to following my head and writing every thought and building stories from scratch:
I realised that success is a broad term in any and every aspect. Success means different things to different people. Success for me means achieving my writing goals and living a life of contentment knowing that I shared, though my writing, what I know and what I feel. Knowing that I educated, entertained and inspired. Ultimately, success is whatever you make of it; it is defined by what you strive for and what you consider to be important. Success is an individual journey, and each person has the opportunity to define their own path to success and mine looks like being a bestseller, book tours and sharing feelings, thoughts and stories.
Live a life that is more meaningful and fulfilling to you. I can not stress this enough. It is important to define things for yourself including yourself. Do not let people define who you are for you. What matters to you? What works for you? Finding my writing space, mentally and physically, requires finding a certain level of balance in all aspects of my everyday life – physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.
Practicing self care and mindfulness. With the hustle and bustle of everyday life, I know it can be hard to find time to for yourself, but do it anyway. Listen to your mind and to your body and know when to stop, when to give yourself breathing room, when to rest.
I’m not a seasoned writer yet and i hope to be, to have my multiple award winning books listed on the first page, headed “Also by Myra Trudea Okumu”. Yes, I dream big and I dream in fabulous colours. (Update: I spent the better part of the cyclone editing my manuscript) and I made a new friend!
Can’t we all agree that we have had enough of 2023? Restart the year or just jump to the next? Merry Christmas and Happy New Year? No? Okay. Atleast I tried.
Welcome to Myra’s goal getting year , what has she gotten other than disappointments, failed balance and/or trust issues?
No, I got none of that actually. What I have gotten is more blessings that I bargained for, more love, more friendship connections, more balance, and just more of everything I asked for. I can say, without any fear of contradiction, I am cruising softly.
Seeing as my vision board is coming to life and I have achieved more than half of the things I set out to do, I thought it would be nice to share progress and share my new, improved and revised vision board.
I was right to map out a physical manifestation of the things that I wanted because it did give me purpose to get up each day and strive to achieve those things. I could and can still see exactly what I want, those brightly colored dreams that never seen to dull and burn bright with passion! I have slacked on some of them and overdelivered on more, I simply remind myself that I am doing this for me: my fulfilment and my happiness. I would highly recommend setting up a vision board for everyone that has goals they want to reach and milestones they can measure their goals with.
What have I cancelled out so far and what have I added:
1. I have gained more YouTube subscribers!
I have celebrated this win so much, you would think I have been consistent in posting content (askies guys!). I have not been able to stick to my proposed schedule and that really shows on my almost videoless channel but I am really working on that. I am learning to remember to film things and writing down ideas and all that. If you have not yet subscribed, use this link to join the family! I am truly grateful to everyone that subscribed to my channel and all the support means a lot to me. Y’all are amazing!
2. More money! I am NOT rich please abeg (but may Allah(swt) grant me that privilege). I am just saying I am able to do the things I want to do when I want to do them, that is not something I could say a year ago and I am so grateful for that chance. I work a beautiful job with hardworking people, my business has been on hold due to unforeseen circumstances but I am here and I am giving myself the best of everything! The theme of my life is no wahala’rd, guys!
As for ChateauxMw, see all my loyal and beautiful customers soon with beautiful scrunchies, organic hair products and just more and better of everything!
3. Prioritsing my peace.
Ah yes, the goose that lays golden eggs: putting yourself first. I am here to testify that it pays off to be selfish with yourself: with your presence, with your space, with your time and with your energy. I cannot emphasize the absolute need to take care of yourself and to center your efforts in living a happy life, not the perfect one but a happy one. I will admit that one cannot be happy 100% of the time and sometimes, we are neither happy nor sad but living in moments and creating precious memories. My peace has been a focal point in my journey and has come with acceptance of situations.
I have become more accepting of life, more tolerant of people and their problematic views, more understanding of people’s choice and most of all, more patient with myself as I go through all the seasons that were meant for me. I have also accepted that not everyone will stick around through the said seasons and that is okay. It is okay and only right for other people to prioritise themselves and their peace away from me, I wish them well from a God-fearing distance.Change is tough and adapting to new things is tougher but I find that, more and more each day, there is nothing more serene, breathtaking and beautiful like learning to love yourself all over again!
4. Vlogging equipment!
I never understood why content creators had so many tripods until I launched by YouTube channel and that was my uhuh moment. Now, at my earliest convenience, you will find my googling the price of cameras, tripods, lighting equipment, microphones and I can not keep up with the prices! What a time to be alive, ladies and gentlemen. I have acquired a few things on the list and you can find a complete list of my vlogging equipment here.
Would I say I am more successful, more calm, more grateful, more soulful, more present and more personal? Yes, I am. I am everything I have worked to be and more. I am the things that have happen, continue to happen and are happening to and for me, a collection of priceless items. I have had my bad days, some I do not have the words for yet but it’s coming. I am sitting here at 00:02 on a Friday dawn writing this and pouring my heart and thoughts out and man, this is (almost) everything I wished for! I have problems like every other person but I get through them and life will forever go on for me.
Here is the new board, exempt of everything achieved, eager to tick more boxes:
My new board is mostly focused on giving me the softest life possible and yes, I will never stop manifesting more streams of income.More money, a book launch, a skincare routine, a knitting machine, what more could a girl ask for?
What was on your vision board that has been a big hooray! so far? Let me know in the comments!
We live and breathe words. …. It was books that made me feel that perhaps I was not completely alone. They could be honest with me, and I with them. Reading your words, what you wrote, how you were lonely sometimes and afraid, but always brave; the way you saw the world, its colors and textures and sounds, I felt–I felt the way you thought, hoped, felt, dreamt. I felt I was dreaming and thinking and feeling with you.
Writing has always been that one thing I have never lost passion for: that everlasting fire in my heart. I mean, yes I have gone months without writing because I can’t get past the idea phase, or times where all I can write is gibberish and the frustration results in writer’s block, but words and I have never parted ways.
Despite working 18 hour shifts and running a full time business, writing still is a big part of who I am (and what I will always be!) and what use is writing if I can’t share that joy with others? What purpose does a story serve if not to be told? To be passed down? To entertain, educate?
Writing has always been second nature to me, something I was not taught but self-learned from reading others, and publishing (a) book(s) has been a goal I haven’t been able to shake off. That expensive, time-consuming, heart-wrenching goal that lives rent free in my mind.
Reading Danielle Steele, Meg Cabot and Cecilia Ahern, my love for stories grew with each read and each mind-blowing ending. Being from a third world country, my reality is different. The hurdles to be faced are different but very much real and very much unavoidable. Here is what I am learning in trying to get my books out and on the market:
ISBN application
When I decided that I wanted my books available on the international market, the one thing I needed was an ISBN, an international book serial number, which I wasn’t sure I could get in Malawi. The internet said we had a national archives where I could get one but their digital footprint is non-existent (gruesome story for another day). Buying an ISBN was out of the question as one was being sold for close to $200 on some sites! Several Google searches later, I stumbled upon the Archives office in South Africa and ISBN application was free, all I had to do was send an email with my book information and of course, a copy of a hard copy once published. Was that it? No. They reply hours later that I can use the archives in Malawi and at this point, I feel I am out of luck because the system in this country would involve me kicking and screaming all the way.
Fortunately, I was able to locate them in Zomba and I got my 3 ISBNs at less than $7 and the condition that I send them copies.
Book Cover Design
A book cover is sometimes the difference between someone reading your book or putting it down. I don’t have this down to a science but I have picked up a book solely because the cover was appealing to look at. This isn’t to say I haven’t read good stories with horrible covers but hey, good covers are eye catchers.
Finding a good designer is imperative, someone who is good at their job but also listens to your wants. The final result should depend on you, just don’t get in their creative well in the process.
This part needs you to know your book specifications including book trim size, cover paper, paperback or hard copy. All those trifling details for your perfect book. If you have any questions, you can always email me or write that in the comment section.
Getting Quotes From Publishers
If your ultimate plan is to get your book into a paperback or a hard copy, you will obviously need some people to print your book into existence. Regular printing and book printing are very different things and should be treated as such. Do not carry your precious book to any company that has the words ‘print’ on their door! Find the companies you feel can do the job and ask if they do book printing. Here are some questions to ask:
Do you offer book printing services?
Any reference material on any books you have printed?
Can I get a quotation on a book with Xyz attributes?
How long does these process between submission and printing take?
For my books, I chose TAG graphix (former: IPPL printing and packaging) and they have been such wonderful help through everything. I really can’t wait to work with them in publishing my books this year! A link to their website: http://www.taggraphixmw.com/
Choosing Editors
You have written every word you could muster and you feel this is your best work. You have edited all you could and this looks likes the goose that will lay golden eggs. It’s not there yet. You need a fresh set of eyes and someone willing to tell you the cold hard truth. One should be ready for constructive criticism and be willing to learn and grow from it. Editors are there to cross out what shouldn’t be there and help you build on your story. Think of it as the final layer of much needed colour on your masterpiece, the whole thing is you but it needed a step back and a fresh set of eyes to add that zing! to it. I picked 3 editors, each with a passion for story telling and all willing to point me in the direction of much needed change in some areas. They also do have a lot of experience in storytelling and writing and let’s just say, my manuscripts will be hitting their desks soon.
I am not a seasoned writer (yet), I am just a young woman who loves to write and share her writings. I write from passion and from my love of telling a good story. When I do publish my books, that will be an absolute dream come true and I will be sharing my journey here and on my YouTube channel as I go along, bare with me.
I hope whoever reads this finds it helpful and is a dreamer just like me, a true lover of words.
Love,
The girl who dreams in colours yet to be discovered.
About the blog
Myra Trudea Okumu is a personal blog that documents an individual’s journey through different aspects of living. Don’t forget to follow me on:
I have never been one to celebrate my birthday because it has always seemed like any other day out of the 365. I am also usually busy on the day and miserably fail to find the time to hooray! through the day.
I want and choose this year to be different even though today is a weekday and I am toiling away at work (Ps. I scheduled this post).
I want to celebrate grace, luck, and chance. The universe for constantly and recklessly pouring so much into me and into the things I do, fate for the beautiful and blessed paths that were written for me and chance for finding me at every turn and taking a wild gamble and landing me exactly where I am.
I am firm believer that here is where I am meant to be and the person I am is specifically made for this very season of my life, the season of grace. Nothing that happened to and for me was ever a mistake, and I truly regret very little if anything at all. I am the consequence of so many actions, some that aren’t even my own but my life begun the moment I made the choice to forever be grateful. Grateful for life in abundance, friends, family, those we meet along the way and even those that never stayed. I see it all as a journey, a path to the end. I have grown to accept that I will be sad sometimes and happiness doesn’t last forever, it comes in bursts. I will have miserable days when all I want to shut down and shut the world out but I will also have days joy will overflow and fill every crane and creak of my being. It’s human. Emotions, ups and downs, the circles, the elation, the depression, the pain, the happiness, those ratchet days… it’s all part of the human effect.
Whenever I want to do something downright outrageous I tell myself one of 2 things: “Be shameless in your pursuit for happiness.” Or “The worst they can say is no.” I have learned that there will be rejections in this journey of mine and not everybody will believe in me or my work or my abilities, and that’s okay. People can only meet me as far as I meet myself, that’s where I start. I am confident in my abilities and in the change I want to see and in the impact I know I can make. That’s enough to be grateful for as I start this new year. I am wishing myself the happiest birthday ever and a year filled with smiles, materialised dreams and multiple blessings!
Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.
In constant pursuit of happiness and fulfilment , I asked myself one question: “The year is 2024 and you just lived the best year of your life: What did you do in 2023 that made it a 10/10?”
I lived my most authentic life, that’s the answer. How? Here is my list of the 23 things for 2023:
You will find that most of the items on my list correlate with my 2K23 vision board and align with the resolutions I set for myself. Happy to say I am living the life of my dreams as some of these things root themselves in my life and flourish!
Your life changes when you change, grows when you grow so this is your sign to put yourself FIRST! Do not self-sabotage by neglecting yourself and your needs, in the words of William Henley, “I am the master of my fate.”
A life audit is all about self discovery; where are you in life? Where do you want to be? How do you get there? I might have to write another post on how to do a life audit but I still urge you to follow your dreams with such ferocity and burning passion, you put the sun to shame for ever trying to burn brightly.
Which area of your life are you going to focus on improving this year? You’d be surprised by how powerful you feel declaring this! Comment below!
Love,
A girl who dreams in colours yet to be discovered.
About the blog
Myra Trudea Okumu is a personal blog that documents an individual’s journey through different aspects of living. Don’t forget to follow me on:
I am here in my bed at 11:34PM on this beautiful 18th January night, straight out of 16 hours of work, 4 deliveries and writing this blogpost. Sleep? No where in sight, just vibes and Inshallah! at this point in time.
This is not a rant, sorry to disappoint. This is yet another journey I am undertaking: Finding/creating balance in myself and my everyday life(activities). What do I mean by finding balance? What does a balanced life look like me? It’s easy to get lost in the chaos of everyday life and more so, as I try to balance every aspect of my life including myself. I used to find myself constantly overwhelmed with my workload, orders and writings, and overpowered by the urgent to get it all done at the same time, leading to fatigue and burnout.
Achieving work-life balance for me involves a complete recalibration of the way I do and handle things and my own expectations. It also means pressing the reset button on what I view as normal. A drastic but needed change in the way I handle the situations around me in a way that reflects my values and my intentions. Nurturing my heart, my mind and my well-being purposely, every single day.
I feel most people in the dilemma I am facing often lack presence in their own lives, like they are living in the third person and they are just existing. I am not in that stage, currently, but I do understand how devastating it may be (usually is) on one’s health and wellness, relationships, and others.
There is a thin line between work and life, and drawing/setting a boundary between the two is very important. That and realising and understanding that you cannot be productive all the time. I find it so hard to just relax and let my brain cool down for a couple of seconds: always rushing to the next item on my agenda and my mind is in a constant state of panic that I should be doing something, anything.
I understand I cannot set balance to my life in a single day and deadlines seem too intense and would further stress me, here are the ways I plan on achieving said balance with intentionality, creativity and tons of patience:
Habit #1: Time Management || Planning ahead
Time management seems like the most obvious thing and yes, planning what you are going to do is easy, problems start at execution. Last year, I tried my hardest to write to do lists every chance I got and that really worked out in my favour. It acted as a compass through my day and allowed me to manage different aspects of my life without overwhelming myself with the details of each task. Planning ahead of my day, allows me the luxury of me-time, I know what to do next, I am aware of my surrounding and conscious on the amounts of time I assign to each task.
2022 also brought with it the writing on my monthly “wins”. A reminder to myself on my bad days that it is not a bad life, something most of us forget when life troubles our waters and rocks our boat. I am carrying over these two habits into this new year and remain optimistic on the dazzling effect of balance this will have. Subscribe to my newsletter for a copy of my monthly wins sheet!
Habit #2: Setting boundaries || Managing other peoples expectations
Learning to say “no.” to people and I know it is not easy, especially when people have grown accustomed to depending on you for their every woe. They need something, they call you. They can’t get to something, they delegate it to you. I am in no way saying neglect your duties or don’t help around. In fact, overdeliver on your promises but take time to yourself, know when to rest, take a step back, reset, cool off, take time off, rewind and breathe. Allow yourself the luxury of meeting people at the level that you can, overexerting yourself will only lead to burnout and what use are you then?
As an employee, I do my job the way it’s laid out for me. I dot all the i’s and cross all the teas. My work balances.
As a creative and an entrepreneur, I lay out my own work in bursts that work for me and still allow me time to myself and my self care. Here, I set my own expectations, goals, milestones and progress indicators. I love my job and I love everything else about me outside of my job. What more can a girl ask for but balance between the two?
“If a man is called to be a street sweeper He should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well That all the hosts of heaven and earth Will pause to say Here lived a great street sweeper Who did his job well.”
– Dr Martin Luther King Jr.
Habit #3: Personal time|| Health and wellness || hobbies
Personal time for me is just time away from productivity, a moment of quiet peace and serenity. It ranges from laying in my bed to aimlessly scrolling through social media as I am not a physical exercise person and find comfort in my blankets. I have, however, been missing meals and find myself losing weight. As a person who finds joy in cooking, it’s a shocker that I miss so many meals and will have to resort to either a weekly meal plan or an eating journal. Maybe then I can keep track of what goes into my stomach and the times that it does. I have never really been conscious about my weight but as jeans stop fitting and shirts become baggy, it’s a no brainer. My meal plan is available for download below:
My hobbies will sue me one of these days for misleading them into thinking I have time for them. They have suffered and blurred into background noise, more so with running these businesses around me. Crocheting has plummeted to an all time low and reading is just as scarce. I plan on gifting myself a knitting machine this first half of the year as I also plan on adulting 101. A bookshelf is long overdue and just so happens to sit very high on my “23 things to do in 2023” list (to be shared soon).I find solace in the fact that my writing hasn’t taken much of that hit and remains top priority in the hobbies section. A win is a win.
The launch dates of my two books can be found in the “Books by Myra” section and I do plan on collaborating with people on giveaways to several schools! I am shaking with excitement.
Finding balance, all in all, boils down to individual priorities, what you deem as important and worth your time. Tasks pile up and suddenly, you don’t know which way is north anymore and I am here to say in the voice of Nightbirde, “It’s okay if you are lost. We are all a little lost and it’s alright.” Existential crisis’ arise from lack of presence, direction and focus, something I plan on avoiding in every lifetime. I have a plan to follow, goals to tick and a vivid balanced life to live.
Let me know your thoughts on the comments and don’t forget to subscribe to my newsletter to get real time updates on my posts.
Love,
A girl who dreams in colours yet to be discovered.
Myra Trudea Okumu 