I am literally lost for words as I write this because this year had been a lot and nothing at the same time. The highs peaked and the lows almost brought me to my knees, still, a year is a year and we continue to thank God for it all.
At the beginning of every year, I write a list of goals and make a vision board but I want to try something different for 2025. Instead of 25 things for 2025, I am doing 500 things for 2025. 500 moments, experiences, lives lived. I find 25 very limiting and as much as I always try to make SMART goals, I think my time will be better served completing 500 small and random tasks and each will count as a win.
Why 500? 300 looked awkward, anything below that seemed limiting and every about 500 seemed excessive.
Always, I am thankful for the people that always show up for me on this blog despite my unexplained haitus. So, 500 things for 2025 below:
Travel
I have recently found out I do not have the full traveller spirit in me but I enjoy the experience of new things, peoples and cultures. Like the recent trip I took with my boyfriend and his family, a solid 10/10. I would go into much detail but my mother reads this blog.
Anyways, I have come to the realization that I have not seen much of Blantyre, much less Malawi and this country is my travel bucket list for the year. From conspicious lodges in different parts of this country to its high end hotels, I will be seeing and doing it all, best believe.
Yes, I have been to the Thyolo tea estates but I have never been to Makoli, or the stables or Huntingtons. All places I plan on visiting this coming year. Am I venturing into travel blogging? Big NO.
I had never been to Cape Maclear until December 2024. Same goes for a boat ride, eagle spotting, boat tours. Hell, I had never even seen so many boats in one place. That experience taught me that I am missing out on a lot of things I would love and enjoy.
2025 better buckle up, because I am barrelling through!
Personal Growth
Growth looks very different to everyone, and for me, the definition evolves every year and changes seasonally. This time, I just need to feel more free, more in control of my life and my well being.
Gosh, I love being me but there is so much room for improvement.
I used to sprint but I have not in a while. I actually won medals for it but I do not think my legs could take it now. I thought about it and I am willing to put in the effort to at least try and run a marathon.
Never been much for TED talks but I will not shoot something I have not tried. I want to make that money as I grow hence launching an online course (which will possibly be free) and working intently on being consistent with my passive income.
End of part one:
Catch my instagram for more parts as they come!
Truly, I love you all for your support and all the love you show me. Happiest end of 2024 and beginning of 2025! xoxo,
“What you focus on expands, and when you focus on the goodness in your life, you create more of it.”
Oprah Winfrey
Last year was all I envisioned and more and it’s all because I took the time to sit down and figure out what was and wasn’t working for me in my life, what I actually wanted (not what I was conditioned to believe I wanted), and built a MF plan around how to make it happen.
I did not have a 10/10 year but I was focused on making/building my dream life. My vision board manifested and mid-year, I had to go back to the drawing board and makes new goals!
While there is that rush to get everything done and to get your life to gather, remember you’ve got a whole lifetime to achieve your best life. All of the things DO NOT need to get done tomorrow, next week, or next year (although, if you’re anything like me, your brain will certainly try to convince you otherwise… That’s the road to overwhelm, frustration, burn out, and failure… don’t take it!)
Let’s get into my 2023 life audit, see what’s working and what can be improved:
Mental health
⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 3.5 out of 5.
The only reason my mental health did not make 5 stars is because I hit a wall at the end of last year. As devastating as that was, I managed to pick myself up and “rebuild” my safe spaces. I am doing fine, thank you!
Physical health
⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 4 out of 5.
Do you remember when I tried the gym? Yeah, that did not work out😂. Sigh. Otherwise, I am healthy (again, my physical health took a dive in December because of anemia. Yikes.)
Family
⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 4 out of 5.
My family is doing great and the problematic members stay being problematic. Overall, it’s great and I am not complaining at all. If I have learned anything in these past two years, it could literally be worse.
Hobbies and creativity
⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 3.5 out of 5.
I am writing, aren’t I? You can still catch me on The Weekend Nation’s Thoughts of a millennial column, still giving my best pointers and unsolicited advice to this life thing. My book is still undergoing the processes of publication but God can forbid we pass June without hitting the shelves.
I have a garden now, and grew some maize in my backyard! Planning on taking this garden thing slightly serious and having vegetables to gift people. Sounds silly but that’s the dream.
I also took up painting, and cocktail making. Good luck to me!
Learning and personal growth
⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 2.5 out of 5.
Duolingo has become friend and partner as I relearn French and also dabble in Swahili. I tried Arabic but I got so frustrated with myself that I just dropped it, I swear. My attention span does not allow for such stresses, y’know?
I need more certificates and I think a Masters would look great for me. Imagine, Myra Trudea Okumu BSc. MSc (hopefully phD).
Career
⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 2.5 out of 5.
Another New Year’s resolution is to take every aspect of being a Microbiologist seriously. Reading more journals, attending trainings and conferences, all that.
Did I mention how I find my field of study so interesting and fascinating? Yes, I do. And I want to advance in it, this degree has given enough. It’s time for bigger fish, don’t you think?
Business
⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 3 out of 5.
The plan for 2023/24 was to bring back srunchies and I am working on it! Promise! Everything else is doing great and we are expanding our reach to other fields/areas. Wish me some extra madness to convince myself I can have everything I want!💕
Adventure and travel
⭐
Rating: 0.5 out of 5.
I literally have nothing to tell you guys in this, sorry. I was home the whole time. I will do better in 2024, hopefully!
Home and environment
⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 2.5 out of 5.
Remember how I moved out and decided to be independent? I have news…it is everything it is professed to be and more! Does it get challenging? Yes, a lot. Would I have it any other way? Yes, with more money lol.
Still building my safe haven and paradise on Earth. The painting station, the bookshelf, the photo walls, all of it! A home tour in June on my YouTube channel? I would love to!
Finances
⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 2.5 out of 5.
Can we skip this?
I don’t want to talk about it. I am doing everything I can to reach a certain goal and until I do, I will refrain from this topic.
💕My level 10 life
My level 10 life means I have alot of good days, surrounded by the man I love and the people I love. I am making enough to live very comfortably in absolute luxury. In my level 10 life, I do what makes me happy.
Note: this is not how to manifest your level 10 life. Go into more detail and be very specific about everything you see yourself doing. What do you do on a daily? What are your hobbies and interests? How much are you earning? How often do you travel? Be very specific and set your lifestyle accordingly to lean towards that particular future.
Go big! Do not limit yourself or think anything is impossible!
“Ignore the glass ceiling and do your work. If you’re focusing on the glass ceiling, focusing on what you don’t have, focusing on the limitations, then you will be limited.”
Ava Duvernay
The key to an extraordinary life is dreaming big, not holding back or judging yourself for what you want or don’t want.
Don’t worry about how you’d go about making it happen. Just give yourself the space to get really clear on what your perfect year would entail.
Your goals and desires are going to evolve as you grow personally and professionally. Different seasons of life will call you to focus on different things.
Make sure the life audit isn’t something you do once and forget about. Revisit what you’ve written on a weekly basis to put you in the energy of achieving it. Go through the whole process again next year! See what’s changed, where you’ve seen the most improvement, and how your level 10 life is evolving.
When in doubt, remind yourself that you have been through more than your fair share, refrain from comparing yourself to others and cry!
I used to hate crying, oh my word! I thought it was such a time consuming and unnecessary activity to partake in and kept on going on with my days. I did not realise I was bottling up so much emotion, anger, sadness and frustration until it all came down at once. The actual pits!
Crying, I have learned, is so therapeutic and my pillow has stories for days. When I feel anxious about something I am doing or I am supposed to do, I let out more than a few salty streams and do it anyways. Doubt can try and stop me another day.
I realised (about doubt) that much of the self-doubt that we have been carrying is not even ours, it is just projections of how other people feel about us. From a snark comment someone made, a passing remark about our capabilities and our ability, or the way our ideas/dreams are described as heavy, daunting or even impossible.
“Don’t let them make you doubt yourself. All the greatest visionaries in history have been told they were insane at some point.”
Michele Jaffe
All this burden, all this luggage we carry around with us, day in and day out, is not even ours!
When in doubt (read imposter syndrome), it is always good to remind yourself that you are already in the room, and you’re there because you deserve to be there. You put in the work, the discipline and the courage, do not let self-doubt convince you otherwise. While there, open doors, build longer tables and invite people that share the vision!
Procrastination tip: Do it before the self doubt creeps in.
My 2024 has taught me never to compromise on my truth, no matter if it leads to broken or strained relationships with the people around me, and to validate my own experiences even when others try to make me doubt myself. I will cry it out and keep moving, always! My delusional self-belief is the difference between me and the Pearly Gates, believe me.
If you constantly compare yourself to others, nothing you do will ever be good enough cause there is always going to be someone better than you: better money, better car, better education, better job, better opportunities. Compare your progress to where you used to be, in your own lane. Measure where you are in relations to your own goals.
“There is in every madman a misunderstood genius whose idea, shining in his head, frightened people, and for whom delirium was the only solution to the strangulation that life had prepared for him.”
~ Antonin Artaud
Throughout the remainder of this week, pay attention to what your gut is telling you. If it tells you to call that person, they can help you, do so; if it tells you, “send that email,” do it. Keep uncertainty from setting in. Simply acknowledge your intuition —it has gotten you this far—and notice what happens.
You are on the right track, don’t let people fill your mind with doubt.
A new year is the symbol of hope, light, and hard-core determination to do great things. It’s the time of year when everyone strives to do better in life and of course, be delusional about how the year is going to go. Don’t worry, we support delusion here!
The best way to make this year all about growth and achievements is to set resolutions for yourself. Ask yourself, “The year is 2025, what did I do in 2024 that has got me here–the place you aspire be?”
By doing so, you hold yourself accountable. You also get motivated to see your goals through till the end.
While you might be all pumped up about making 2024 the best year of your life, it’d do you well to focus on your overall well-being. Self-care will never let you down, that is a promise.
The joys of January. New year, new possibilities. Everyone is bursting with productive energies, making plans, setting up challenges, and writing resolutions. If only this blissful state could survive the first couple of weeks back at school/work and the long, dark winter nights. But sometimes we lose track of the goals we set, the many amazing adventures we envisioned for the new year and quickly settle back into our everyday routines.
We may rediscover that ambitious and exciting list of New Year plans sometime in the summer, but those fresh energies are already gone, so the goals list goes back into the drawer. Been there, done that. And of course, it’s silly, as it’s never too late to change things.
For me, the best way to ensure that I do not lose sight of my goals, or of the things I want to do is planning, organizing, and constant tracking. Yes, while I do like spontaneity to some degree, it IS a quite low degree – I much, much prefer planning everything in advance when it comes to the major areas of life (at least the things I have power over).
My system is a mix of big dreams, budgets, bucket lists, yearly goals and monthly plans. Ask around, I plan ALOT and I make list upon list. It keeps me accountable and organized. I believe in gradual improvement and breaking your goals into actionable steps.
Habits are hard to step into and get used to.
Set a goal and then work backwards by listing the steps you should make towards the goal!
Helpful tips for setting actionable tasks:
Make sure that every goal you set has actionable steps that you can know you are definitely taking.
Also make sure that the goals are measurable. So you can see your progress and know if you have successfully completed the goal. It would not hurt to also set milestones between now and the end goal; not only are they going to motivate you but they are a sign of progress.
Keep your monthly goals list visible so that you can have daily motivation and inspiration to keep working on them. If you can pin a printed version somewhere, extra points!
Be realistic about the amount of time you really have in the month to complete your goals. Are they even goals that can be completed in a month or a year?
Always be patient with yourself if you don’t hit a goal by it’s deadline. It’s so much better to have tried and missed than to have not tried at all.
But also don’t underestimate yourself- you are capable of achieving incredible things!
Every last of the every month, go through your calendar/monthly goals/monthly to do list and cross out all the things you managed to do. Revisit your vision board, restrategize, make amends where necessary and plan your next month. Before you know it, you are actively crossing out so many things off your list and the year is progressing nicely!
Tip: You can use a binder or journal to keep track.
I have been playing journalist lately, or columnist more like. I have been writing for The Weekend Nation, every weekend as the name stipulates and it has kept me…writing. Something I have been having a pretty hard time with even though it has always come so easily to me. I have had my ups and down like everyone else and I am currently still sorting through the mess that was the last four weeks but life has been great overall.
Like I said, the universe has a tendency of meeting me as far as I meet myself and even though that hasn’t been very far out, my cup has not run empty. I am still grateful for the opportunities that continue to arise and the challenges I move past; and for the opportunities I did not have the courage to face, tizakumanaso. It just wasn’t the right time for me.
What’s new? First, I am a dog mummy! Yes, I am having the time of my life adjusting to having someone to attend to; feed, bathe and take care of. He is so noisy and very energetic, and why is he always hungry? Nonetheless, the company has been good for your favourite bachelorette and the company goes by the name of Coh. (Please, don’t bother asking what it means and no, it is not short for Kondwani.)
I am back to content creation on my YouTube channel and I am dedicated to uploading videos weekly (fingers and toes crossed) . I have been actively working towards making videos and I am relearning the processes with feedback from all the viewers of course (eggs and omelettes). Please do subscribe! And I will see you every Sunday!
I would have loved to do a life audit in this post but I will save you the hustle by making a separate post.
December is days away and I am scared that I will not be able to meet all my goals even though I have made such significant progress in all of them (or Atleast made steps towards them.) Anyways, that does not take away the fact that there are some short term goals that may correlate to the original goals that I can tick off before the big 2023 finals. Let us get into the personal goals before 2024:
1. Donate blood again.
2. Donate 90% of my closet (I have already sorted through my clothes and if you would like to donate yours too, send me an email myraokumu@gmail.com or comment below!)
3. Organise a sanitary products drive! (If you would like to a part of this, please let me know!)
4. Be patient and more appreciative of myself! (I deserve the soft and gentle side of myself)
6. Write weekly articles, blogs, stories and essays! (One piece a day keeps the thoughts away.)
7. Learn a new language with Duo Lingo (Settled on Swahili and Arabic)
8. Get a funeral policy!
9. Complete a 30 day challenge (could be anything right? Any suggestions?)
10. A solo staycation🧘🏾♀️
I was going for ‘more collaborations’ as one of my end goals but I have put a brake on that one for now. Instead of set goals, I have put more focus on creating systems that work towards the goal, if that makes any sense. Dividing my goals into tasks and setting milestones, eases up the pressure for me to reach the end and also allows for accountability along the way.
2023 has been…something, to say the least and this year has not turned out as I initially thought it would. Remember the beginning of the legacy, we are nearing the end of the beginning and I guess things can only get better from here.
I haven’t been okay, lately. I am one to admit my humanity in times like this because I do not have unrealistic expectations of myself. Good news, I am doing so much better and you will be seeing more of my writings now as I transition into a space that allows for me to breathe, live and focus on my well being. It has been lovely and therapeutic writing again, I absolutely missed this.
That is all I had to say, subscribe to my blog and my YouTube channel and let’s stay connected!
***Give me 24 hours to elaborate on this prophecy.
Parable of a parsimonious world
Where do I begin this story? From the moment I walked out of my house looking like I was lathered in 3 layers of Vaseline, or the moment I realized that given the chance, men would chew us (women), skin and bone?
I do not mean that as a joke.
As a certified pedestrian and a religious user of public transport, I am accustomed to the chit-chat that surrounds boarding African buses; from the complaining men to the pestering children.
On this fine Sunday Morning, I have decided to take a break from the warm and endearing solitude of my home and wander to Chirimba for lunch with my favorite people and a motherly homemade meal. The bus is not full but is predominantly filled with men and few scattered women.
I am not one to eavesdrop on conversation but if you are making known your unsolicited opinion, I will hear it and I will judge you for your poor thinking.
A man speaks on how he beat his wife for not being home when he arrived. I suck my teeth and roll my eyes at the stupidity. The men nod their heads in agreement and mutter words like, “she deserved it” and “she had it coming.”
Hai!, I am thinking, marriage but at what cost?
Another man quickly adds a layer of misogyny by pitching into the crowd that men need to ‘discipline’ their wives when they ‘act out’ and such issues should be kept in the secrecy of marriage as it may look like abuse.
Look like?
Look like abuse?
My eyes search frantically for the man that uttered these words and my eyes lock his over the driver’s rear view mirror. It should not have been him, I am not sorry.
To the men I share this space with, a good woman is ‘obedient’, ‘submissive’ and ‘quiet’. The perfect woman of culture should need crave the guidance and protection of a man; she is like a child to be catered for, looked down upon and beaten when they oppose their superior.
To be a ‘good’ woman, one must channel their inner doormat and prostrate themselves before their self-appointed disciplinaries. She is a selfless martyr to the whims of men, an embodiment of the archaic norms we are so desperate to abandon. May we find inspiration in her self-neglect.
Beat some sense into her quick before she utters the word ‘equality’ or ‘right’. Such nonsense words.
If she says no, she is disrespectful; if she questions the agenda, she is challenging and outspoken; if she disagrees, who the hell does she think she is?
A woman who pursues her career is deluded to think that a man would want her with all those qualifications, but if she stays at home to take care of her family, she is too dependent. Women should be reprimanded like a toddler, treated like a glorified servant, serviced like a car, and worked like a horse.
And do not say aloud that you do not wish to marry, they will pity your future spouse like they did not just hear you say that you choose to not want a man. Women should centralise men in their lives.
Our voices are stifled, ambitions belittled, as we are taught to shrink and fade into the background. We are conditioned to conform to predetermined roles, molded into docile creatures of compliance. We are told to prioritize marriage and motherhood, as if our worth lies solely in our ability to nurture others. Career aspirations are met with skepticism, as if success outside the domestic sphere is an anomaly rather than a rightful pursuit. The labels of weakness, irrationality, and emotional fragility are perpetuated to undermine our autonomy and dismiss our opinions. From the moment we are born, society eagerly hands us a predefined script. If you choose not have children, you are selfish. If you outsource help, you are lazy and not wife material; womenmustbond over smoke, back and joint pains.
Men? Men will defend each other with their dying breath. It does not matter that the act was despicable or dehumanizing; ‘boys will be boys’, ‘She asked for it’ and ‘A woman must serve a man first.’
Men are never in the wrong and should never be held accountable, these men narrate. The action or reaction of a man is always as a result of woman. Did Eve not tempt Adam? He was a seduced innocent man. He beat her because she did not polish his shoes, he was a neglected husband. If he stepped out on his marriage, it is because his wife was not tending to him, he was an unloved spouse and if he does it again, his mother failed to raise him right. Zero accountability whatsoever. “Like a compass needle that points North, a man’s accusing finger always find a woman.”
I am in an active state of disbelief and my heart is racing at several haibos per minute. Truly, that is all women are to men? And to think, they lay next to their spouses every night with such contempt for them lodged in their chests, I shiver for the days they bare their teeth.
Here come the men in my mentions talking about, ‘Not all of us are like that’. Oh sorry, sir, that we do not have the time to individually check who is dangerous or not, or who has the sharpest teeth. My sincerest apologies that we choose not play Russian roulette with our lives, it is just that the subtle garden variety misogynist is harder to spot. Did you not hear of the man that killed his wife for not cooking rice correctly? Or the man that ‘accidentally’ stabbed his girlfriend? Can’t be too careful, don’t you agree? If you want to debate my thoughts, you would have to pay me for my time and if not, my mentions are not the place to be empty headed.
As I was saying, every time he hits you, it is because you are being a ‘bad’ woman. You do not listen, you are radical and you are loud. You have forgotten your place but worry not, his hands will show it to you. God forbid a woman makes more money than her husband, she will undermine his authority (but if she wants to make him happy, she must give him every money she earns and he will decide the budget, what a good woman!). If you find yourself with a man that has an inferiority complex, be sure to shrink in size to accommodate his ego. Tuck away your steel-spine and worship the nothing he gives you.
The bus is now approaching town and this war against women will be over soon, my throat is burning but even I know, their ideas are deeply rooted over years of belittling women; it is a losing battle. There ideologies are as old as Adam’s apple. I turn to look at the passing buildings when the women finally speak into the conversation.
The woman with a child nestled on her lap says that is a woman’s duty to serve a man and she must know her place.
Know her place? What place? In the kitchen? On her back? Why can that place never be something good or something worthwhile? Like driving a Mercedes Benz AMG?
A ‘good’ woman is expected to conform to a dizzying array of expectations set by society, as if their approval is the ultimate validation. I pity them for supporting a system that does not serve them because at the end of the day, no matter how hard you ride for them, for the system designed against you, receipts will be due. Maybe deep down, they believe that pandering to man and belittling the experience of other women at the hands of the men in their lives exempts from the violence and inequality. Listen, it does not matter how much you support patriarchy as a woman, it is a system that will never benefit you.
These are the same ‘good’ women that feel betrayed and cheated when, after following the rules set and regulated by men on how to be a subservient woman, they get no reward for it. They wonder how they got the cream of the violent and nonchalant crop. They shake their fists to the heavens on the unfairness of it all, and that is the system they scrap their knees defending. Hatred and bitterness brews for the ‘bad’ women who lived their best lives untouched by those standards and got the best happiness can offer.
This woman sees the look of horror on my face at this and she jokingly says, “You will understand when it is your turn.” My what? I have never said, “God can continue forbidding” faster in my life. Lord, I see what you are doing for others, may it never be my turn. The notion that a ‘good’ woman serves men first is but a remnant of a bygone era—a parody of reality that crumbles under the weight of its own absurdity.
Women must fear men (like we already do not take one hour out of each day to do so). We do not feel safe; we still cross the street when a man is walking behind us, broadcast our location to five friends until we get home, and constantly look around when we walk on sparsely populated roads. I dare not think of marrying because I might get beaten, or killed for following my dreams, or not cooking the nsima to his liking. What if my partner views women as objects of sexual gratification, home decoration, and chore completion? As a woman, you could live long enough to see old age or die at the mercy of a violent man, even men fear men. And listen, there is no excuse for laying your hands on anyone, no justification for violence. How do we create monumental change in the dynamics? Negotiating for our lives and rights clearly isn’t working.
Moral of the story: If a man so much as raises his hand at you, put on your running shoes and hit the road at full speed! Abusive men will strip you of your individuality, your self-esteem, your freewill, and/or worse, your life.
It is so hard to leave—until you leave. And then it is the easiest thing in the world.
JOHN GREENE
I MOVED OUT!
…cue the excited hysteria and panicked smile!
When I was planning on moving out, I called myself 7 shades of crazy because what was I thinking? On one hand, this could be a growing experience for me and I get to step out of my comfort zone like I promised myself I would but on the other hand, bills and responsibility. I had to make sure I was ready (mentally and financially) for that step and I took the time to talk to my nana and my mum on my plans.
I was anxious and worried that I would not make the jump, that things would not go as planned and I would fail. Failure was my biggest fear but hey, how can one fail something they have never tried? It makes me happy that I am actively working towards everything I planned for this year on my 2023 vision board.
Here are a few things that helped me prepare for the big move:
Location
Some places are more expensive than others and this is something you should discuss with your budget and your income. There is no other way, honestly. Factors such as proximity to roads, town, and facilities affect the prices of housing in the surrounding area. I was looking for something close to work because I get there early and I knock off late and so, proximity to work was a major determining factor when picking a house and it paid off well. You can also have other deciding factors: does the place have parking space? Do you want to live close to relatives? Is the security in the area okay?
It would help to make a list of all the things you will be looking for in your future residency. Or its just me and I love making lists.
Upfront costs
I saved up! Yes, that is the krabby patty secret formula that worked tremendously well for me. I saved up for 3 months rent and a security deposit (it is important to know if your landlord requires a security deposit and I cannot stress this enough) and not only that, but I put money aside for my first months groceries and utilities. However, the petrol crisis was at peak when I was making my move and gathering things and transporting things really shot my budget up a few kwachas. I tried to be flexible with my budget (big mistake btw) and underestimated inflation.
Budgeting
I will be the bigger person here and honestly say that I got carried away fantasising about my perfect apartment. Pinterest was showing me decor ideas, bedroom ideas, kitchen ideas and I could not, for the absolute life of me, stop scrolling.
What I should have been doing was looking at my budget and my bank account balance, more specifically, the things I could afford as a first time mover starting from scratch. I had already picked out essential items such as a bed, mattress, cleaning supplies and cooking utensils. It was after moving out that I started making the budget for furnishing my apartment; couch, fridge, cooker, etc. I would suggest you have someone give your budget a once over because chances are, you have added more than a few unnecessary things.
Declutter
Are you a hoarder? Me too! It took a lot for me to part ways with my things. Clothes, shoes, bags and anything that i deemed ‘important’ and ‘i might need it someday’. I did not want to have so many things to carry during the move and I did not want to clutter my new living space, hence the decision to part ways with more than a few items.
Old things, things I hadn’t used in months, things that did not fit, old receipts, documents I had no use for, were discarded or given away. And that is how I ended up with only one suitcase of clothes! A truly freeing experience, I should add, because I let go of things that were of no apparent use to me and halved my packing time.
Hey, if you are thinking of taking that leap out of the nest, do it. You have the courage and hopefully, the means to support yourself and stand on your own. I thought I had a lot of growing up to do before I thought of moving out but I have quickly learned that this is my learning curve, this is where I learn to be your own person. We all have different cues as to when to move away from what we call normal or comfortable, there is no rush (unless there is). I am rooting for you and fingers crossed, you get exactly what you are bargaining and saving for!
With absolute and utter love,
The girl who dreams in colors yet to be discovered.
Being a person that grew up in a big family, moving out has always seemed daunting in the very least. That and being alone in a house I cater for. I grew up in the chaos of a full house and so much noise around that having my own space seems unnatural and weird. In casual conversation, I would be explaining something about home and someone randomly asks, “All those people live in one house?” And I would shrug and say yes because it is very normal for me to be around my big family. Absolutely adore it, if I am being honest.
The first place you live alone, away from your family, he said, is the first place you become a person, the first place you become yourself.
My first move would be the time I went for my student internships at Zomba Central Hospital and had no choice but to kiss my mother’s house a sad goodbye. Still, everything was catered for by my parents and I didn’t have bills or groceries to worry about, all I had to do was call and my bills were paid and food delivered/eaten. That was in 2021. I lived in Kalimbuka and walked to and from work everyday. Funny thing is I moved once while I was in Zomba, same area but a bit closer to the hospital. I was in Zomba for 4 months.
I grew a liking for the solitude and the freedom I didn’t have much use for, seeing as I spent nearly all my time at work and the weekends resting my legs. Still, that small space of seeing the works of the world outside my norm grew on me…a seedling in fertile soil.
Enter 2022, graduation, end of first and second internship, job, businesses etc., I decide to try adulting again. A significant amount of planning later and here I am, planning the big move. House hunting has been excruciatingly hard, exhausting and costly and has proven to be the most draining things I have had to do in 2023. With the cost of living through the roof, trying to stock and furnish my future living space has had my budget and my bank account in tears. Someone said you grow up twice and the second one is when you learn the price of curtains, they were far from wrong. However, I have had a ton of help in most areas and one can say, my anxiety about all this is eased almost everyday.
Budgeting, purchasing, more budgeting and a lot of Pinterest later, I am half scared out of my mind and very excited for another chapter of my life, which may or may include living my best authentic life. I am choosing to see this as a step outside my comfort zone which is something I promised myself I would do. Moving and seeing the world just might be that boost and motivation I need this year, knowing mum and dad won’t be pitching in to save me because I spent too much on milkshakes.
I am betting on my own growth and my own success to see me through. I will be making other posts and of course, vlogs on my YouTube channel on this: how to budget, my 3 pages long to-do list, balling on a budget, choosing household items and everything else you will need to know when you also decide to jump out of the nest. Fingers crossed, my lovelies.
You hear of Mulanje Mountain, the crown jewel of Malawi, with Sapitwa (it’s highest point) at 3002m above sea level. The sides of this glorious mountain grow Mulanje cedar, a strong tree with a spicy aroma famed now for its dwindle from existence as people plunder the mountain and chop down this rare tree by the number. You hear of dziwe la nkhalamba, a dazzling pool of water that gleams in the light and whose rocks could be your demise, the waterfall pure and rushing can be heard as a harsh natural melody behind closed eyes. You hear about the spirits that dwelled at this magnificent pool: reverred and worshipped, feared and respected.
The people around the mountain (and beyond) offered sacrifices of animals, food, possessions and alcohol to appease them, to ask for blessings, to thank them for prosperity, to beg for children and to pray for mercy. (Although the spirits have long since disappeared. They say, the stories of the spirits human captures spread long and wide and soon the masses came flooding, displeasing the spirits as their sacred shrine was desecrated and turned into a mere tourist attraction. The spirits left, leaving the once spiritual and scared place desolate and quiet.)
You have heard these stories. The stories of the hikers finding food as they hiked the treacherous mountain, the stories of people disappearing on her rocky mass on trails that twist and turn and seem to go on forever, stories of talking spirits, crying voices. You have heard them all. All of them All but one. The story of the little girl living at the foot of the mountain.
At the crack of dawn, most wake up to go to work or class or to a hearty breakfast. Brenda wakes up to hike the Mulanje Mountain to collect firewood. For those not familiar with the Mulanje mastiff, the treacherous mountain is the highest point in warm heart of Africa at 3002m above sea level at Sapitwa peak. The climb itself is hard and tedious and the ground as you climb is steep and ladden with rocks that lean on trees and some that are held up by spit and prayers. The firewood is fallen branches tied together with pieces of torn garments and ropes and put in bundles two metres long. You can only imagine the weight of this thing as some of the branches sat on the ground as the rains poured and absorbed water and never really dried. Mind you, she is thirteen and in standard 6, she is almost half my age, a head or two shorter than I am but manages to carry a load twice her weight. Mulanje Mountain is a monstrosity; rocky, steep and unforgiving, clad with trees of shades of green.
The hike up is tiring with nothing in hand and difficult with a bundleof branches nestled on your head. My pathetic attempt to carry a load on my head for about a kilometre ended in a headache, neck pains, shaking legs and a complaining back. A glimpse of what the children go through everyday. What caught my attention and let me say amazed me the most was the speed at which they ran down the mountain. Its rocky and steep! I almost screamed,”Be careful!” one too many times and I am ashamed to say I was holding up the traffic of children way younger than me. An eyeopener on what children have to go through to survive, why the education system fails to account for children attendance, how truly privileged some of us are (and how we take it for granted) but also the resilience of a small girl living at the foot of the majestic and beautiful Mulanje Mountain.
Only Legends dare to hike sapitwa! Join Legendary Adventures this summer.
Visit Mulanje Mountain where the clouds hug the mastiff like a crown and blur out the top of the beautiful Mountain completely on rainy days. For the beauty it is, for the experience of hearing the water as it rushes down the mountain and drowns out the rest of the world, for the rocks at Dziwe La Nkhalamba that look like quail eggs and for the joy of visiting the big rock in the warm heart of Africa.🇲🇼