The year I let myself live.

The year I decided to wake up and put myself first, to prioritise my peace, my space, my happiness and my inner sense of self. And my goodness, what a year it has been! From moving out, to my first pet and my first permanent job? I do not have words to describe how wonderful, breathtaking and awe-inspiring this year has been.

While 2022 was my year of healing, 2023 allowed me to live in that healed space and to thrive in my own life. I never thought I would achieve all that I have and that just goes to show that time does heal all the wounds we clean and tend to, it fades scars as well, and clears all the smoke from the bridges we had to burn.

What made my 2023 do great and better than the last 4 years of my life? A deep dive:

1. I let myself live

In every sense of that sentence.

I let myself find joy in the small things and the most mundane of tasks. I let myself dream big and vividly, pushing myself in the pursuit of said dreams. In the many times that I failed and life tasted a little sour, I reminded myself that I have come so far and I can only make it further. I have lived, I have laughed and cried a little too, and I am so grateful for the year 2023 has been.

2. Everything that came, I was there.

For my mistakes, I was there to witness them, to let them roll off my back and leave lessons. For my wins, I was there too to cheer for myself and cry a little tears of joy. For my most human days, I was there to remind myself that it is okay to feel lost, to feel like you are not doing enough, to feel left out, to feel all those emotions.

For everything I have encountered in this year, I have not strayed from my presence. I have been rooted in my body and in the present, letting myself sit in my miseries and in my joys and allowing myself the intensity of many emotions.

3. I believed in myself

Yes, we have all heard to believe in ourselves but I did it!

I did not let fear or anxiety govern what I do or how I operate in certain things. I have asked for what I want, worked hard for what I deserve and written my heart out on any page that would allow me.

I am a dreamer and a believer. I dream in vivid colours, and believe in the endlessness that is imagination. My dream remains Tapatsidwa Writers Program and that will be my legacy. Do or die.

4. I allowed myself to make mistakes

Small things. Allowed myself to sleep past my life to allow myself a chance to absorb the day, prepare myself mentally and make a to-do list in my head.

I did not beat myself up for the things I cannot control or the things beyond my reach. I cannot be everywhere at once, the day only has twenty-four hours, and I only have two hands and one brain. There is only so much i can do in a day. I am human.

5. I loved

Where I could, I loved.

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WHAT WERE THE MANY FIRSTS?

1. A puppy named Coh
2. I moved out and I am working on furnishing my house
3. I became a full time columnist (Thoughts of a millennial in The Weekend Nation)
4. I organized an online event for writers across Africa
5. I got my first permanent job!

Anyways, I have to go, my loves and I will be seeing you all on the next one! The dreams are calling me by my full government name!

Love,

Myra Trudea Okumu